My cousin passed away.

Salaam'alaikum and hello to everyone,

I got the news on Monday that my cousin passed away. The Doctor's had run some test to see if there was any brain activity. There wasn't any except the part of her brain that controlled her heart and breathing which is the brain stem. When my brother told me, I was sad. As soon as he left my room, I cried. I cried because I know what it feels like to lose a mother. My mother died two years ago and it still hurts. My cousins no longer have a mother :(

My cousin's in a coma.

Salaam'alaikum and Hello to everyone,

Last night I decided to go to the hospital and see my older cousin in the ICU. Before I went to the hospital, I cried to my little brother. I know what all my cousins are going through. Even though my cousin isn't dead. I know the feeling. My mother died two years ago. It still hurts. My cousin has been in the hospital since Thursday. She had gotten an operation on her foot and then her heart stopped while she was waiting to be seen by a Nurse. They don't know how long she was down for. The Doctor's got her heart back up, but they believe there has been damage to her brain. Today is the big day where the Doctor's will see if there is any brain activity. Then my cousin who is the eldest daughter will be giving the decision if they should continue to have her mother on life support or not. I hope there is some improvement.

Life is so interesting.

Of I've everything I've been through, I'm still at times wondering why it happens. When most of the trials scar me and change me. I may never know, but I hope everything gets easier. I am happier than before because I have a daughter who needs me. I have a husband who loves. I have friends who care about me. I have family who....well they have their moments. Maybe for once I can say "Alhamdulillaah" ( Thank God) for everything and mean it. I guess I was just too scared to be happy. Only Allah knows of my deepest thoughts.

Update :)

Salaam'alaikum,

I'm always slacking off and not updating my blog. Well I left Texas and I'm back in NY for good. I brought my little brother and cousin with me for a visit. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with a girl masha'allah. My hubby and me went to get a 3D ultrasound and we saw our daughter. She's adorable masha'allah. Not much has been going on. I'm just preparing for the baby and my mother in law is coming to visit. I'm not really looking forward to that. I have to put on my good face and attitude. It's not all that great. I just want her visit to go by fast. I don't mean to sound rude, but I'm just not in the mood. Inshallah I will update more within the week.

Love,

Smiley
Our daughter, Riyam masha'allah.

What Is Up?

Salaam'alaikum,

I don't know what the deal is with me? I've become anti-social with my blog. I've been going through some rough times. I'm a little nervous to post certain topics on my blogs without opening a can of worms. At the mood I'm in at times or what I feel, it always seems I'm starting an argument and I MUST get the last word. *sigh* It's all my nerves since the baby will be here in three months inshallah.

I've been great with pregnancy. No more morning sickness. When I came to Texas, it all stopped. The sickness all stopped at five months. I went back to NY and I didn't throw up at all. So I just had that really bad morning sickness and the air in NY was killing me. I'm in Texas again. I came back for my Doctor's appointment. I was trying my best to be seen in NY but the lady who was doing my insurance, NEVER turned in my paperwork. Am I mad? YES! Any sisters in NY? Avoid a woman named "Rasheeda" in Brooklyn who works for Health Plus. I don't care if she finds out I said this. I have my reasons. I called Health Plus to see what the deal was. The operator checked with my SS and name to find me in the system. There was NOTHING on me.

I kept getting the run around and it really pissed me off. Had I been an "immigrant", I would have everything. I'm not knocking anyone. I deserve help too. Just because I'm a U.S. citizen, doesn't mean I need to be put in the back of the line while the immigrants walk all over me. Do you all want to get cut?

So there, I'm great. Have a nice morning, afternoon, evening, or night.

Love,
Smiley

Controversial Topics

Salaam'alaikum,

I have a lot of issues on my mind that I want to throw out in the open. I have a right to speak my mind and I may offend people. Although it's not my intention, I've just observed a lot in my years that I've come up with an idea to try and bring the issues that bother me in to a positive view. I have three issues that are bothering. First issue, Women and Men of Yemen and how each is treated, growing up, marriage, family life, and just life in general. My husband and me always talk about this and I love his views. My husband is Yemeni so he knows what the deal is. Second issue, Convert Muslim and Born Muslims. Third issue, living with Non-Muslims and how they view Muslims. I know many converts face this but I for example have a bigger problem in my family. I will try my best to post each topic within the weekend but it's going to take me a while. I have to choose my words wisely because I'm the type of woman who doesn't sugar ANYTHING.

Love,

Smiley

Sorry for M.I.A

Salaam'alaikum,

It's been one heck of a ride for me these past few months. As of now I'm in Texas. I had to leave to New York because it was really messing with me and my pregnancy. I'm going to make a list of what has happen to me while I was in New York.

1. I was in the hospital more than once.
2. Insurance advisor acting up.
3. UTI that wasn't going away.
4. Passing kidney crumb size kidney stones.
5. Throwing up everything I ate or drank.
6. Couldn't sleep at night.
7. When walking outside, I was like gasping for air. The air is filthy in NY.
8. I couldn't eat anything.
9. I lost about 20lbs.
10. Nausea 24/7

All of the above that was happening to me, I had to leave. On Monday the 19th, I woke up crying telling my husband I want to leave to Texas. He got sad but he set his emotions aside and worried about our baby's health and mine. We got the ticket and I headed to Texas. I was still sick on the plane and when I got to Texas. The next morning, I felt 100% better.

1. I am able to eat.
2. I can go to the bathroom normal.
3. I can drink all the water I want without throwing up.
4. I can breathe in the air without throwing up.
5. I feel so much better.
6. I miss my husband so much.

Alhamdulillaah I feel so much better being in Texas. When I get my Medicaid and see the OBGYN, I will ask what is best for me. As in going back to NY or staying in Texas. If I tell the Doctor all that I felt in NY, I'm sure he/she will suggest I stay in Texas.

So that is my update and I will come more often on my blog inshallah. Also fix my blog up to look pretty :) Ma'salaama.

Love,
Smiley